'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
