they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
