Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Let's get the cat blown out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
