Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
