You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm really busy with my period
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