I'd wear matching sweaters with you
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
