I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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