never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
