do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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