I'm gonna have a badass scar
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
