sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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