I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
