he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
