you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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