sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
