wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
