We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
