Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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