I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
