I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
