I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
