My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
