K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
