dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
