just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
