so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
