dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
