If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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