Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
