If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
