whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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