these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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