Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
