I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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