The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
