An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
