My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
