I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
