brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Can Purell be used as lube?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That accounts for only three of the penises
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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