I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
