You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What a dumb baby whore.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
