kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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