so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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