We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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