I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
