id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
