I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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