Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
