just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
