She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
