Do you still have your period?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
