May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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